Saturday, June 11, 2016

Failing to Plan

“Failing to plan, is planning to fail” –Unknown

I can totally relate to this statement. I am a planner! I plan every part of my life. As much as I wish I had an adventurous or spontaneous bone in my body…I just don’t.
Seriously you have no idea how bad this can get.

If you tell me you will be at my house at a certain time…I will literally pace by the door when you arrive 5 minutes late.

It throws off my plans and literally gives me anxiety.

I plan my mornings and days.

My planner is filled with all my plans for the week.

I have often been known to have most of my months all planned out. 6 months ago if you asked me what I would be doing this summer I would have told you exactly what classes I would be taking what days and times and what hours and days I would be working….seriously! I had it all planned and I was not going to stray from the plan. Life doesn’t work when you stray from the plan. You fail. You get hurt. It’s not fun. I mean as the saying goes
“If you fail to plan then, you will plan to fail”

So I should be succeeding right?....WRONG!

Let me just give you a small little piece of advice…if your like me, a planner, non adventurous, and not spontaneous at all….Then don’t ask God to take you on an adventure, because boy will he take you on the ride of your life!

In the last six months God has taken my plans and completely cleared my planner. I have nothing written in six months from now. When someone wants to plan something for me to go to two months from now I literally can not commit to it because I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing.

God is taking my life and transforming it from my plans into HIS plans. He is showing me that I need to take it all surrender it to him and wait. Wait on his calling, his timing, and all his decisions for my life.

This is extremely hard! I have no idea where I am going. I have no idea what I am going to do for work, what I want to get my graduate degree in, or where I am even going to be living in the next three months. To say I am a little freaked out would be an Extreme understatement.

The only solid truth I have is the truth in the word that God gives me in the bible. I know it is such a common verse and many of us know it by heart but it is so fitting for this time in my life.

“11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I may not know what I am doing a week or a month from now. But God already does. He knows what I am going to be worrying about tomorrow before I even wake up. He has planned out my path and he knows when to reveal his truth to me little by little to direct my steps. Just enough to keep chasing fast after him and not seeking my own path.

Remember this in your daily routine. Are you busy planning it to fit your wants and your needs? Or are you seeking all that the Lord has for you today? Is he slowly revealing his will for you? Or are you running hard after something he never meant for you to have?

Humbly ask him where you are if you don’t know. He will be faithful to answer you. It may not be the way you want or expect, but it will always be perfect in the end.

Friday, June 3, 2016

This Means War...

Stepping out in faith to serve God was one of the hardest things I have done this far in life, but as I began to trust Him and His promises to me the step of faith became easy like almost second nature to me. As the pieces of my journey with the Lord began to fall into place, as if God was formatting it himself I began to sense the work of someone else on my life. And I am not talking about another human here…yes you know who it is the master of Chaos himself…the devil!

It was like clock work that he showed up; first it was before an amazing retreat that I got the privilege to attend. They said that he would show up and try to keep us all from getting there and sure enough…he did. First, it started out with little annoyance like people at work getting on my nerves, or the kids flat out not listening then, the attacks increased. I began to get bills that were odd and out of date yeah they were small like twenty or thirty dollars, but still they were those small annoyances that I just couldn’t shake.

Then one night he came with full force…he was trying to stop me in my tracks and boy did it work.

From the time I can remember I have suffered from fear. And I am not talking about just being afraid of the dark, which I was, what I am talking about is, I hated be alone at home, I hated the dark, I didn’t like to go places alone…I was AFRAID. Of what you might ask? I couldn’t even tell you, I just had fear.

They say when the devil attacks he attacks what he knows about you. Meaning he has to watch you from a very early age to see what gets your heart racing your blood boiling, and ultimately what gets you to turn away from God, which is his ultimate goal.

So back to the night he used my fear against me, it was about 10:30pm and I was wrapping up a phone call with my mom talking about all the work that the Lord is doing through my trip and me to Guatemala. After we ended our call I decided it was time for bed I went to shut of the light (because I have overcome my fear through the Holy Spirit) and as I turned around to begin my walk back to bed, I stopped dead in my tracks and jumped with a gasp. Turning to flip on that light so fast I was trembling in fear once again. I can barely explain to you what I saw; it was mostly a dark, moving shadow. But the presence that I felt was overwhelming.

With the lights on I ran to my bed where my bible was sitting on my nightstand I tried to open it knowing that God in my protector and my shield. I then reached out to a friend over the phone and she prayed over me and my room, stating that “whatever presence was there had to leave in the name of Jesus.”

This experience was like none I have felt before and in that moment and that instant I realized one thing between the devil and I, the war was on and this was only the beginning.

Realizing this didn’t stop the attacks, as I sit here and write this I am currently five weeks away from leaving and I have been bed ridden for the past three days with a case of strep throat. Mind you I have never had strep throat nor do I really ever get that sick. The other day I told my mom I literally feel like Job from the bible where he endured every attack from the devil he could possibly place on his life. But that’s the most interesting thing! God aloud all that to happen to Job,

Job 1:8 says, “Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”

You see God specifically aloud Job to go through what he was going through, because the Lord knew that he would not stray from him. He knew that Job would worship him even after everything he had was taken away, which he did.

I hope to be the same through this journey. It may take all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength to get to where I am going, but that’s just it I have the King of the Earth on my side and he has already planned out every step before me.

He knew I would go through this, and ultimately he aloud it all to happen, even better he knew I was strong enough and even when the devil tried all he had, I would still continue to praise God every step of the way.

In the same way he is doing the same for you. Whatever you are facing today God knows you can handle it, praise him through the trial it will only make you stronger.