Tuesday, January 24, 2017


Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”
James 3:1 ESV
this verse hits me hard each time I read it. All growing up I have always been a natural born teacher. Playing school with my friends, always helping the younger kids at family functions, it all just came naturally to me. While growing up my mom saw this natural talent in me, She always encouraged me to become a teacher. First, knowing it was something I was good at and second saying it's a great profession for having a family. I ran from this natural born gift for as long as I can remember. First, it was in high school when I decided I would go to culinary school instead of college. Thankfully the Lord got control of my heart and mind and changed my path. Then, it was my sophomore year of college when I decided to change my major to speech pathology. I ultimately learned that I hated this major and quickly changed it back to teaching. The final dart was when I was in my graduate program and was not succeeding in the thing I know God has given me a gift to do. That's when I stopped and I packed up and moved. Away from family, and friends. It was a rough time and I needed to know this was truly Gods calling on my life. So why am I on the mission field now? Why am I not in a classroom teaching like so many of my classmates? It's because of God. He knew that I was scared. He knew that I was holding myself to an unattainable standard that I would never reach. This would be perfection. So he gave me a year. One year to seek Him, one whole year to do life on the mission field, not only serving Him but seeking Him and learning who He created me to be.
So why does this verse still haunt me? Because, I am the girl who seeks perfection. I hold myself to standards I am constantly unable to reach. When I feel like I have failed I run. If I don't meet my standard I am completely crushed. And now I read in Gods word that if you are a teacher you will be judged more harshly? That's just great, not only do I do this to myself, but also now God is going to do this. But that’s it. If I am seeking him and he is leading me to be a teacher, then he will be faithful to forgive and give grace. Not that I am to live my life dependent on these alone, but I am to lead in a manner worthy of him, but I am human an I will mess up, and when I do I know he will be there to lift me back up and give me the strength to continue on. Because he is not only our great judge he is also our Heavenly Father, our Protector, our Healer, and our Great High Priest who is always there in our time of need.

Seek First His Kingdom

28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.
Luke 12:28-31
Seek first his kingdom...such strong words. Lately I have been hearing people tell me over and over to let God into the small parts of life. If you are like me you have always let God into the big decisions. Like when I was going to college where was I to go. Or what ministry God wanted me in. For example when God called me to IGNITE I knew he was going to have to provide the finances and you know what he did before I even left for the program. As I have been thinking about what to do next I have sensed God tugging on my heart to finish the schooling I have already started. He has given me vision for the future that I never thought he would. I was really eager to take this next step in submitting applications, but I knew I didn't have the finances to pay for the applications. So I decided to take a step back and wait on God. I put out my prayer that if this desire was truly from him he would provide what I needed. I sought first his kingdom and then I forgot about it. Weeks later I realized that this small pray had been answered with just enough for me to take the next step. This moment has fully renewed that small spark of faith I was looking for within me. It is easy to become comfortable and forget that we need to keep God at the center of everything that we do. This small act has reminded me to seek him first in all areas of life and to lay all my plans and my desire at his feet so that he is able to provide more abundantly for me.